Blake Belladonna: Ninja of Love
by Danceanon
Summary: Blake loses something dear to her, but how can she get it back without acknowledging what it truly means to her?
1. Chapter 1

"_...In the secret ninja city with no name, a secret ninja meeting was taking place. The Secret Ninja Council of Secret Ninjas Operating Secretly had convened to discuss secrets, and also probably ninjas. But far above them, attached to the ceiling of the secret ninja assembly hall via a creative use of grappling hooks, an even more clandestine meeting was taking place._

_Toshi Rukugere and Akana Tyabunu, both the last living members of their respective ninja clans, were making hot, steamy and completely inaudible love on the ceiling. Akana had spent the last 8 months hunting down Toshi for murdering the rest of her clan (and to a lesser degree, for murdering the rest of his clan and several other clans.) It had been fraught with peril, bur Akana always got her prey; and then sometimes she slept with her prey, but not always._

'_OH Toshi!' Akana sensually moaned in a secret ninja sign language. 'Your dick is so stealthy, I want to be unaware of you cumming inside of me!'_

'_HA HA! YOU FOOL!' Toshi shot back 'I already came inside you back when we first encountered each other'_

'_You couldn't possibly mean...'_

'_That's right, when we briefly made eye contact at the Dokudiwa Theatre. Even then I had already mastered my Whispering Ejaculation technique. Now you are 6 months pregnant with my child, and you were none the wiser. You didn't feel a thing' Toshi boasted._

'_HA HA! You are the one who is truly the fool! I knew of your plan the entire time. I only pretended not to know to lull you into a false sense of security. I've already given birth prematurely through a forbidden technique, and since then I've been training our son.'_

'_Training him? For what?'_

'_To kill you!' Akana laughed maniacally with her fingers as a blade was thrust into Toshi's heart from behind, the knife being held by none other than Soki Tyabunu._

'_My son... Why?'_

'_I'm sorry father,' Soki whispered into Toshi's ear with sign language, twisting the blade 'But you must pay for what you did to my mother, and to both of my clans, and also what you are currently doing to my mother.' As the sun rose over the city, Toshi breathed his final breath and thrusted his final thrust. But Soki's quest had only just begun. The path to becoming the Grand High Ninja Pope would not be without it's perils, but Soki could not live without avenging his father's death._

The story continues in the next installation: Ninjas of Love 2: The Stabbening of our Lives."

Blake sighed and fell back onto her pillow as she finished the book. She always felt a little sad about the reaching the end of the book, but this pained was eased by rereading at least once a week. She considered herself both a collector and a connoisseur of high literature, and she considered to original Ninjas of Love to easily be the best volume in the 14 part series, if not best book she's ever read. It even managed to beat "Huntress and Grim: A tale of Forbidden Love" and "The Pain and Pleasure of Dust".

"HEY BLAKE! Watcha reading there?" Yang shouted as she popped up from her bunk below, abruptly shattering Blake's lewd reverie as she desperately tried to hide the book. Ruby and Weiss glanced over to see what all the commotion was

"Oh. Uh, you mean this? It's just, um... It's just Karl Barx's Faunus Manifesto. Real boring stuff, politics and all that. You wouldn't really be interested." Blake stammered as everyone's eyes fell on her.

"Oh, okay then" Yang said, as Ruby and Weiss turned away and went back to having character development. But Blake could tell Yang was actually convinced, not with that sly smirk she wore as she dropped back down to her bunk. Yang knew, she always knew when it came to these things. Blake cursed society for making it shameful to appreciate TRUE romantic literature; it was EXACTLY like how humans oppressed Faunus, and just as terrible.

The room almost had time to calm down before a knock at the door broke the silence, although Blake was welcome for anything that made everyone forget they were looking at her.

"Ruby, could you please get that?" Blake asked. After all that was probably in a leader's job description or something, right?

"I'm not going to open the door unless Weiss politely asks me to" Ruby whined, acting much brattier than usual. Sometimes Blake really didn't like having a kid like her on their te-

"Well I'M not going to ask unless RUBY apologises for a certain incident in class today!" Weiss shot back from her bunk. "Ah." Blake thought to herself "that explained things. It was one of THOSE nights"

"Oh my GOD you two! Just fuck already" Yang shouted from across the room for the 9th time that week. It was no longer a friendly jab to her, just a matter of routine. Blake opted to get the door herself as the other began squabbling. She opened the door to find Jaune Arc patiently waiting there.

"Good evening Jaune, how can I help you"

"Oh hey Blake; I've kinda, uh, lost my bag... again, and it had all my books in it. I was wondering if I could borrow the Textbooks I'll need for Professor Jubilee's assignment?

"Why couldn't your team lend you theirs?"

"This isn't the first time this has happened, and Pyrrha think if she keeps helping me I'll never learn so she said I'm on my own. Ren destroys every book that he's finished with for some reason, and Nora can't read."

"Wait, Nora can't... Oh never mind. Hang on a moment; I'll go get the books." Blake walked over to her bookcase and started throwing pertinent textbooks into a pile on her desk, mumbling to herself as she worked. "Basic Botany, you'll need that. Advanced Ignition Techniques in regard to Dust, need that. Alternate States of mind and their effects on Aura, essential. Character development for dummies; Well, YOU sure don't need that Jaune." Blake muttered as she looked back over at Yang. Once she completed her search she gathered up the pile and carried it back to the door, dumping them into Jaune's arms.

"There you go, that should get you through the essays"

"Thank you so much Blake, I won't forget this." Jaune yelled over his shoulder as he walked back into his dorm. Blake sighed as she closed the door, between Jaune's visit and her team still arguing, Blake had far too much social interaction tonight. Maybe she should reread Ninjas of Love again, that always relaxed her. It should just be lying on her bed where she lef-

Blake froze as she looked at her empty bed, and came to a sudden realisation. No, it WAS on her bed. Now it was in the pile of books... With Jaune

"Oh shit"


	2. Chapter 2

"_I've killed hundreds of men, and I've slept with hundreds of men. But I've only ever killed one man while I was together with him. An experience like that... it changes you. You aren't the same ninja you were before. This is one secret I had to take to my grave."_

_Page 24, The hidden secret last will and testament of Akana Tyabunu,_

_Ninjas of Love 7: Secrets or Ninjas, the Final Clash_

* * *

"Oh god! Oh no! Oh shit! Oh fuck!" Blake thought to herself. Though she was making the effort to appear calm and composed on the outside, as she was still in the room with her team, Blake was sure that this situation definitely warranted an internal freak-out, and followed through as such. While Blake didn't consider any of her reading tastes to be shameful, not everyone was as enlightened by their own intelligence as she was; and many fail to understand the deeper meaning behind the stories. They didn't understand that any lewd segments were just framing devices for character development.

Blake had long since learnt her lesson about trying to explain this to others; too many times before had she calmly and rationally attempted to teach people the errors of their ways and prove the superiority of her tastes, but in the face of her logic and culture they would have no rebuttal but to immaturely call her names like "Creep", "Pervert" or "Rape Apologist". Blake had long since given up on that fighting that battle; if other people insisted on being deaf to reason, so be it. It was much simpler to just not bring up her interest and even hide it whenever possible. But all that covert would go to waste if her secret was discovered, and with that book in Jaune's possession it was only a matter of time.

This was not good, not good at all. Blake had finally calmed down enough to know she HAD to get that book back... somehow. It'd be easy enough to get into JNPR's room but to reclaim the book without anyone noticing was a different matter altogether; It's not like Jaune had a social life outside of his team so banking on him leaving the room wasn't a safe bet. Blake just couldn't do this on her own, but who could help her? She couldn't get anyone's help without revealing her secret anyway, it was hopeless. At least the others were leaving for dinner, so she could have a panic attack in peace. Blake looked over to the door to watch Ruby, Weiss and Yang leave now she could- wait a moment...

"YANG!" Blake blurted out with a sudden realization as Yang was on her way out

"Er, what?" Yang asked from the doorway, rather perturbed by this outburst.

"Oh, uh. I just wanted to ask Yang about something. Don't worry; you two can go on ahead, we'll just be a minute." Ruby and Weiss shrugged and headed off while Yang leaned against the threshold with her hand on her hips.

"So what's the matter Blake? Finally want to come have dinner with us instead of spending the nights alone with your books?"

"No it's not that, I- I actually need your help with something" That earned another one of those "Knowing looks" from Yang, this would not be fun.

"Well sure I'll help you out. But do you really need me, I though cats could lick their own genitals?

"It's kind of a personal issue and I- WHA! WAIT what was that!" Blake had more complaints but was rendered speechless by her emotions and imagination. When her romantic literature was on the line this wasn't what she wanted to here. As she hid behind a blush red enough to make Ruby jealous; Yang's attempt at a straight face, doomed from the start, collapsed as she cracked up laughing.

"Oh god Blake, I was just kidding around. You don't need to choke on you words just yet. See look I'm being serious right now, max focus right here, 100% reliable. Hit me with your issues." Yang's claims of focus were not supported by her inability to stop laughing, but this was Yang so it's probably the best she can do. And it's not like there was anyone else who could help here.

"Look Yang, I kind of need your help with something really important to me. You know those... uh- those books I read... you know, here in the dorm"

"Blake, all you ever do is sit in here and read books. You may need to be more specific"

"Well it's about my, well my... It has something to do with m-my..." Blake paused, searching for a word. God, it's hard enough holding a conversation with someone as it is. "you know, my _romantic novellas_"

"OH! You mean that smut you're always trying to hide from-"

"Romantic novellas!"

"Look Blake, I'm never going to judge you for reading smut. It's totally-"

"ROMANTIC NOVELLAS!" Blake yelled, her voice louder and more shrill than intended. The memory of a hundred tantrums previous suddenly coming to mind. At least Yang had picked up on the body language.

"...Okay then, sorry. What's the problem with your romantic novels. Not steamy enough?"

"No, It's a more pressing issue." Blake explained, holding back a retort. There'd be no winning if she started an argument. "I've managed to uh, misplace one."

"The case of the missing sm- I mean romance novel, eh? And you need my help to pick up the trail?"

"I know WHERE it is, I mean I think I do; getting it will be the problem. Remember when Jaune was over here tonight?"

"No"

"Well he- Wait 'No?' It was when Weiss and Ruby were arguing."

"Once again, you may need to be more specific"

"Ugh, whatever. It happened, he was here. He needed to borrow some textbooks For Professor Jubilee's assignment and-"

"Wait, we have an assignment?"

"Could you just-! Look it really doesn't matter right now and-"

"Yeah, his classes are boring anyway."

"The assignment doesn't matter Yang! Look, I lent him the books he needed, but it turns out I may have accidently also given him one of my adult fictions as well." Oh wow, no silly comeback. It seems Yang's actually taken this seriously. A long pause takes place as Yang weigh's the disastrous implications of this-

"PFAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU SLIPPED HIM A FUCKFIC! THAT CAN'T EVEN HAPPEN CAN IT? THIS CAN'T BE REAL!" Yang's mirth took priority over her ability to stand as she fell to the ground laughing. Practically suffocating at Blake's expense. It took a coughing fit about a minute later to stop Yang's laughter, barely able to breathe afterwards.

"Serves you right, I shouldn't have expected much coming to you for help."

"No, no don't be like that. I'm here for you girl, I feel your pain." She managed to say, wiping the tears out of her eyes and holding back any stray giggles. Well at least she was certainly feeling some kind of pain after that. "So I have to ask, why you come to me with this? I mean yeah, I'm amazing and stuff. But you've never seemed the type to utilize my tremendous skill. Why can't you go all 'Lone Ranger' on this business?"

"Well I can't just take the book back, I have to do it without him noticing it was even taken in the first place. I can't have him knowing it was even there. I hate to admit it, but I think I'll need some backup for this; and you're the only one I can tell because I figured you... well you already knew about my reading habits."

"Yeah I can't believe Rubes and Schneeflake haven't noticed that yet, you suck at subtlety. Maybe if they stopped glaring at each other for one second..." Yang trailed off, she can't even focus when she's changing the subject. This will not end well. "All the same, of course I help a teammate out. Especially since there's no way this won't be hilarious. So what's the plan, Chief? Safe-cracking? Arson? False-flag Operations? Espionage? Arson? Cyber-reconnaissance? Arson?" Yang's excitement at the prospect of stealing from a friend was a tad disconcerting, but points for enthusiasm.

"Could you please just take this seriously? As a matter of fact I do have a plan in mind, and no, no arson." Yang's gleeful expression didn't falter one bit, she was loving this.

This was going to suck.


End file.
